Poor Richard’s Almanac

Our friend Ben is in a distinctly grouchy mood today. I never enjoy seeing an election descend into the dirt–as Dr. Franklin noted, “He who lies down with dogs will rise up with fleas”–and this one’s already too dirty for my taste. Clinton v. Obama, Obama v. Clinton, McCain v. New York Times, Conservatives v. McCain, Clinton, and Obama, and pretty much everyone v. poor Ron Paul. Ugh. Grow up, guys!!! But our friend Ben was keeping a pretty tight lid on things until this morning, when Yahoo! informed me that that *&%$#@!!! Ralph Nader had once again decided to declare his need for more media attention, aka his candidacy.

Now, Nader has been my #1 choice for “candidate I’d most like to run over repeatedly with a pickup truck” ever since he destroyed Al Gore’s chances in 2000. It wouldn’t have galled me so had Nader’s campaign been based on promises like “a dead whale in every pot” or “a Wal-Mart in every yard.” But the loathesome, self-aggrandizing hypocrite dared to suggest that he was pro-environment, meanwhile causing the most overtly pro-environment candidate we’ve seen since Teddy Roosevelt (if you don’t count Lady Bird Johnson) to lose to the most anti-environment candidate since the days of the robber barons. Nader’s mask of concern certainly came off in that election, revealing a face only a reality TV contestant could love. “It’s not about the environment, it’s about me!”

Presumably Gore’s subsequent renown and Nobel Prize have been some consolation to him, but there’s been damned little to console our friend Ben. Then again, maybe this year Nader’s candidacy will draw the derision it and he so richly deserve.  It’s about time.  And if not, there may yet be a place for him on, say, ”The Biggest Loser”…