A plea for common sense. May 19, 2008
Posted by ourfriendben in recipes, wit and wisdom.Tags: Dutchy gunpowder, hot peppers
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Gack! Where is our good friend, Tom Paine (author of Common Sense), when we need him?!
Silence Dogood here. Our friend Ben and I were appalled to see that someone had just visited Poor Richard’s Almanac after querying “Can you season food with gunpowder?” Oh good Lord. Well, obviously, you could use gunpowder or arsenic or rat poison or DDT or toilet-bowl cleaner or any other toxic substance to season food, if you didn’t mind dying in agony and/or spending a great deal of time and money in the emergency room. But we’d like to suggest that you season your food with a little common sense instead.
Salt, pepper, herbs, spices, oil, butter, vinegar, ketchup, mustard, salsa, hot sauce, sour cream, gravy, steak sauce, tartar sauce, mayonnaise, salad dressing, wine, marinades, rubs, cheese… We can think of many ways of seasoning food that are extremely unlikely to prove fatal, even if the particular brand or combination you choose is not a culinary triumph. We would feel a lot better if we thought you were confining your seasonings to these.
Those of you who missed our earlier post, “Scotch bonnets and Dutchy gunpowder,” may be wondering why our visitor’s query directed him or her to this blog in the first place. “Dutchy gunpowder,” the subject of that earlier post, is what Jim Weaver of Meadow View Farm calls the wonderful assortment of dried and powdered hot peppers that he offers lucky visitors to his farm store in Bowers, PA. “Dutchy” as in Pennsylvania Dutch (actually German). “Gunpowder” as in fiery hot. Not as in head for your local gun store, stock up on gunpowder, and swallow some!
So, please, let’s all get a grip on extreme literalism and keep the (actual) gunpowder out of the kitchen! Thank you.
‘Til next time,
Silence
Anyone who’s been in the kitchen after Thomas Clump opened a bag of crushed hot peppers would fail to see a distinction between that powder and the stuff that goes boom. Still, death by peppers is a matter of personal choice. You are right to advise against anyone trifling with gun powder in the kitchen. Even on July 4 (assuming one hopes to see the sun rise on July 5).
Words to live by, Thomas!
Seriously? Who would ask a silly question like that anyway? Why are some people so literal anyway? What ever happened to good ole’ common sense? Sheesh.
I often wonder that myself…
Charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter (potassium nitrate). All things found in a kitchen, and also in black powder. Charcoal from the milliard effect gone bad, or cooking on the grill, sulfur from those dark yellow fresh egg-yolks, onions, garlic, or dried fruits, and saltpeter for curing that corned beef, pastrami, or ham… I can see using all the above in a ready mixed keg, far from the open flame of the stove…
Oh, my. Or just make some ham and eggs and burn the toast!
I was curious, so I tracked down some interesting little tidbits. Gunpowder has been used as a seasoning (with horse meat!) in a pinch (and a big pinch it was!). This excerpt from Three Napoleonic Battles describes the scene.
Gunpowder is also the name of spicy seasonings that are used when grill cooking and are usually a blend of salt, pepper, and other (probably spicy) herbs.
Thanks for the fascinating facts! Horsemeat and gunpowder—now there’s a meal for the ages. Those poor Napoleonic soldiers! If memory serves, they were eventually reduced to eating their shoes (more likely boots) as well. But it would be a fun post to write about the weirdest seasonings—I’m sure gunpowder’s not the only one!
I saw that ( actually German) remark;)
About the gunpowder==maybe someone was in the South after a good meal of pintos and they just assumed gunpowder was the seasoning. It would be a common sense confusion. That could be the only explanation for such an explosion.
Ha!!!!
Um, sounds like somebody was having a bubba moment.
To say the least! Possibly gunning for a Darwin Award…
It’s those damned literalists that scare me. Think, people. Think!
Ha! So true, MSS! Think, or submit yourself for a Darwin Award!
I love the Darwin Awards–I have those books in every bathroom!
They are unbelievable! You have to wonder what on earth is passing through people’s minds!