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PLEASE don’t ask, don’t tell. November 21, 2008

Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, recipes, wit and wisdom.
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Mercy on us. We have now officially received the most horrifying reader query in the history of Poor Richard’s Almanac. Our friend Ben, Silence Dogood, and Richard Saunders, who contribute to this blog, have considerable curiosity and fairly strong stomachs when it comes to the search terms people use to get to us. We can endure the abuse to our blog mentor and hero Benjamin Franklin when someone searches for “ben franklin bad inventions.” We love Springer spaniels and are unfazed by “llbean springer spaniel fabric.” We try to bear up under queries about stink bugs, palmetto bugs, and bugs in general, however queasy-making.

But oh, please. Grossout food queries are more than we’re prepared to take. One of Silence’s most-read posts is called “Amish friendship ‘bread’,” and it continues to attract readers (several thousand, in fact) many months after it first appeared on our blog. That is certainly flattering, and Richard and our friend Ben attempt to ignore Silence’s constant comments on the fact that it and our most-read post to date, “Super summer squash recipes,” were both written by her. But what we can’t ignore is the latest search the friendship bread post generated: “why chocolate friendship cake turns green.”

We have no idea why chocolate friendship cake turns green. But we certainly all turned green at the thought of it. Please, dear readers, if you know the answer to this burning issue, don’t share it with us: We really, really, really don’t want to know. We love our readers, and we (generally) find reader queries informative, enlightening, and (often) amusing. They have spurred us on to learn things we’d never have known and to contemplate ideas we’d never have considered. But please, oh please: Save the really gross questions for your kids. Not only will they appreciate them, unlike us, but we bet they’ll be able to find the answer.

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Comments»

1. fairegarden - November 21, 2008

Yuck.

Frances

Too right, Frances: That says it all!

2. Alan - November 21, 2008

I’ve had Friendship Bread turn green, but not from chocolate, just neglect. Can’t say I want to know the answer to the green chocolate either. I think putting chocolate in Friendship bread is just wrong! (Friendship bread is just wrong…)

We agree, chocolate in anything that shouldn’t be chocolate, from croissants to chocolate-chip muffins and chocolate doughnuts, is just wrong in our book. But we actually like friendship bread/cake, if it’s not chocolate and it isn’t green…

3. Curmudgeon - November 21, 2008

ROTFL! Sounds like somebody’s fifth grade science experiment!

Ha!!!

4. deb - November 22, 2008

Sounds like a question one of my boys would ask. Maybe they got to the computer when I wasn’t looking.

Ha! Those Monkeys!!!

5. Cinj - November 22, 2008

Eww. I don’t think I want to know the answer to that question either.

Yeah, talk about too much information!

6. themanicgardener - November 24, 2008

Curmudgeon got it. My younger son actually did this experiment, and yes, I think it was fifth grade. Various originally edible items with plastic over them languished under the bed for some time, but nothing chocolate was included–it would have been deemed to valuable to subject to such treatment.
–Kate

Yikes! I once had a (rather peculiar) boyfriend who used to, apparently inadvertently, leave food items out on his counter for eons with similar results. All the while mopping his kitchen floor daily! Go figure.—Silence


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