Poor Richard’s Almanac

Trivial pursuits. April 17, 2009

Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, chickens, critters, gardening, homesteading, recipes, wit and wisdom.
Tags: blog humor, garden quiz, garden trivia
trackback

Yesterday, Nancy Bond of Soliloquy (http://nancybond.wordpress.com/) posted a trivia quiz, “Trivia from the Garden.” Of course, like everybody, our friend Ben finds trivia quizzes irresistible—at least if I know anything about the topic. (I’m one of those people who can’t resist those free online IQ tests, either.) I was so inspired by Nancy’s quiz that I thought we should have one here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, too. The question was, on what? Our friend Ben called an emergency session of our blogging consortium—myself, Silence Dogood, and Richard Saunders—to try to come up with a good topic.

After a few false starts (Silence: “Here’s a good one—Why our friend Ben is delusional: a. He keeps having conversations with Ben Franklin; b. He thinks he’s going to win a MacArthur fellowship; c. All of the above”) , our friend Ben managed to restore order (“Look, Silence, isn’t that a stinkbug on the wall right next to your head?” “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”) and the meeting got down to the business at hand. Here’s how it went:

Silence: How about trivia related to lawn and garden chores, like how many calories do you burn if you rake leaves for an hour or what’s the most widespread weed in the U.S.?

Richard, OFB: Uh…

Silence: Okay, forget I said anything. Shut up, Ben!

Richard: We could do a trivia quiz on gardening during the time of the Founding Fathers, especially since George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were such passionate gardeners.

Silence, OFB: That’s not a bad idea!

Silence: Or how about an herb quiz? There are so many fascinating things about herbs, and it would be fun to do a quiz about herb lore and uses and see if anybody remembered all the old-time wisdom and modern uses, not to mention some pretty bizarre beliefs about herbs. There’s some pretty scandalous stuff about some of those old herbalists, too.

Richard, OFB: Yes, that could be fun!

OFB: Kate over at The Manic Gardener (www.themanicgardener.com) is having a contest about compost. Maybe we could do a compost-themed quiz!

Silence: Uh, Ben, Kate is actually offering prizes for her contest winners. I don’t think we should go there.

OFB: So, what’s your point? People want prizes? How about this: Everyone who gets all our trivia questions right can win a no-expenses-paid trip to Hawk’s Haven, where they can have a fabulous, glamorous time turning the compost in our bins, shoveling out the chicken yard, pruning all our rosebushes…

Silence, Richard: BEN…  

OFB: Uh, guess not. What about a trivia quiz on garden seed companies and plant entrepreneurs in America? From Bartram’s Garden and M’Mahon to today’s seed pioneers, like the Seed Saver’s Exchange and Jere Gettle of Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, there’s a lot of fascinating stuff we could talk about. What was Luther Burbank’s biggest mistake? What was W. Atlee Burpee’s real name? Who was Johnny Appleseed?

Richard, Silence: Hmmm, that sounds good, too.   

Richard: Or what about a backyard wildlife quiz? There are so many little-known facts about who’s really holing up in your backyard and what they’re doing there.

Silence: Like bears in suburban developments. Or raccoons on city balconies.

OFB: Or stinkbugs in rural cottages.

Silence: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Richard, hastily interrupting: How about a hot pepper trivia quiz? Between Scoville units and the hottest pepper and what’s the difference in flavor and where peppers are grown and what are some of the least-expected uses for hot peppers, I’ll bet we could put together a pretty good quiz.

Silence, OFB: Hmmm. That’s pretty one-dimensional.

Richard: But people are obsessed with hot peppers!

Silence: Some people.

Richard: Uh… 

Silence: That gives me an idea, though: What about the weirdest recipes based on common vegetables?

OFB: Where does the “quiz” part come in?

Silence: I’d make up some, and people would have to guess which ones were real.

OFB: What do you all think of a chicken trivia quiz?

Richard: (coughs)

Silence: “Who was the real Colonel Sanders?” “What cult guitarist performs with a KFC bucket on his head?”

OFB: Come on, guys! Chickens are interesting!

Silence (rolls eyes, slaps forehead, sighs dramatically): We think chickens are interesting, Ben. I’m not sure you’d get an overwhelming response to that one, though. 

Richard: Uh, she has a point.

OFB: So what’s it going to be?

Silence: Why don’t we just ask?

OFB, Richard: Say what?

Silence: Ask our readers, dimwits! Ask them if they’d like to take a trivia quiz on lawn and garden chores, Colonial gardening, herbs, compost, seed companies and entrepreneurs, backyard wildlife, hot peppers, weird vegetables, or chickens?

OFB, Richard: Oh.

Silence: You mean, D’oh.

OFB: Grrrrrrrrr.

So, okay, all, if you want us to post a trivia quiz here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, it’s time to vote for the one you’d most enjoy. Votes will be tallied, and we promise to listen to what you all have to say! [Silence: I know they're going to go for the herbs or weird recipes. Richard: Hot peppers or Colonial gardening! OFB: Chickens!!!] No, really we will. So let us hear from you! We’re standing by awaiting your call.