Going to the dogs.

Those who know our friend Ben and Silence Dogood know that we have a real weakness for dogs (and cats, and birds, and fish, and chickens, and… ). Our beloved golden retriever Molly lives large in our memories, and our black German shepherd puppy, Shiloh, holds a huge place in our hearts. Still, we’re amazed at the lengths people will go to for their beloved pets.

Last weekend, our friend Ben saw an ad in the paper for the new Honda Element. Excuse me, for “The new Dog Friendly Honda Element Package.” (Don’t ask us why the only word they chose not to capitalize was “new.”) I quote: “Cushioned pet bed. Car kennel and leash. Unique badging and ramp. Rear fan. Seat covers. Dog-bone rubber floor mats. Spill-resistant water bowl. And more.” Badging, say what?!! Sadly for Shiloh (and for Molly and Annie before her), the small print notes: “Package not intended for dogs larger than 80 lbs.”

Well, our friend Ben would like to inform Honda that our battered old 11-year-old bought-used VW Golf has it all over your souped-up Element when it comes to dogs, including those over 80 pounds. First of all, it has an incredibly cushy “pet bed,” aka the back seat, which is even lined with fleece for our dog’s added comfort. We too provide a leash and even a halter if needed, as well as a spill-proof water dish in the form of a recycled plastic food container and a bunch of plastic water bottles that we refill at the sink between trips. (It’s spill-proof because we give Shiloh water after her walks and before she gets back in the car. If she ends up dumping it all over the parking lot, who cares?!) We provide other amenities as well, including toys for the trip, liver treats, and a bag with plastic grocery bags, latex gloves, and zipper-lock bags to take care of any rest-stop bathroom breaks. Who could ask for more?

Apparently plenty of folks. Just today, Silence, who subscribes to the online service DailyCandy to keep up with trends, saw that an enterprising woman in Pittsburgh, PA had launched a business specializing in cake mixes for dogs (check it out at www.puppycake.com). Puppy Cake offers carob and banana cake mixes (with icing), as well as a cupcake pan that makes bone-shaped cupcakes, organic sprinkles, and ready-made cookies and cupcakes. All human-grade ingredients, of course. You can even find suggestions for party games and theme parties on the site (Luau, Birthday, Wedding, Puppy Shower, Costume, Spring, July 4th, Beach, Halloween). OMG.

Silence would like to point out that all baking done here at Hawk’s Haven is exclusively with human-grade ingredients. Any bread, cornbread, rolls, muffins, biscuits, oatmeal cookies, crackers, chips, or other comestibles served to us and our dog on-premises are guaranteed to be top-quality, without the added expense of buying mixes (mixes!!!) specifically for dogs. OFB has found himself in the doghouse more than once for sharing a fragment of doughnut with Shiloh, but no one could deny the human-grade ingredients in said doughnuts. 

As for party tips, our dogs have always had one comment when it comes to party food: “Just hand it over and nobody will get hurt.”

Mercy. We love our Shiloh and all our pets, and we indulge them as we indulge ourselves, no more, no less. But doesn’t this trend strike anyone besides us as over the top?

And what the heck is badging, anyway?!!