Attila the Hun and other quandaries. July 29, 2010Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: blog humor, wacky blog searches, wacky blog search phrases
Yes, it’s once again wacky blog search time here at Poor Richard’s Almanac. The search engine phrases that have brought searchers here to us have included some real gems since our last posting on the topic, and of course we’d like to share them with you. As always, original query in bold, our response following:
nobody doubted his genius: Our friend Ben thanks this perceptive person. Shut up, Silence.
do Africans tend to have flat feet: Sorry, we don’t deal in generalizations, unless we’re making them ourselves. We have no idea if Africans have flat feet, but we can say with confidence that our friend Ben has flat feet, and thinks flat feet are great. So what’s your point?!
how not to multiply Amish friendship bread: Hoo, higher math! We’d suggest dividing it, but suspect that simply subtracting it would probably work better.
making fertilization talismans: Please Google Biodynamics; they do it all the time. Otherwise, you might check out “fertility talismans” instead.
poor ben franklin blog: Harrumph! There was nothing poor about Ben Franklin.
how much fun are parakeets? Hey, they put that barrel of monkeys to shame.
see through sliding glasses: Do they come with a secret decoder ring?
is poison ivy in your throat bad: There’s another Darwin Awards candidate born every minute.
do poinsettia leaves have glitter on them: Of course, and they grow in those delightful silver, white and ice-blue colors, too. We suggest that you buy yours at the Dollar Store; they’ll last a lot longer, too.
why are Irish men considered lucky: Why not ask some Irish women?
full recher almanac: Say what?
was attila the hun a monarch: This one sort of threw us for a loop. Attila has traditionally been known as King of the Scythian Hordes, not to mention Scourge of God (a title bestowed on him by his Roman enemies). But what’s the difference between a king and a monarch, anyway? We’d sort of assumed they were the same, until we were reading a definition that said “a king may or may not have monarchical powers.” Er. We don’t know what monarchical powers are, but given Attila’s long and successful reign of conquest and terror, we suspect that he had them.
That’s it for this batch! But we’re sure we’ll be back with more soon…