Poor Richard’s Almanac

Up in arms. November 6, 2010

Our friend Ben was shocked and appalled when I turned on my computer this morning and was confronted by the following AP headline: “Arms mounted onto giant Jesus statue in Poland.” Talk about blasphemy! Our friend Ben was certain that the Prince of Peace would never approve, and besides, I’d always thought of Poland as a deeply religious country. What the bleep?!

Clicking the link, I discovered that the headline actually referred to an enormous statue of Jesus that was being erected in the little town of Swiebodzin, Poland. The statue is so huge that it has to be constructed in parts, and today, the section containing Jesus’ arms and chest was hoisted into place, leaving only the head awaiting placement.

But oh, please. Shouldn’t a reporter be capable of an unambiguous headline? “World’s largest Jesus statue nears completion” or, if you must have a pun, “Construction of giant Jesus statue moves ahead”? “Arms mounted onto giant Jesus statue in Poland,” with its Cold War overtones, sounds more like one of the bloopers written by sixth-graders in our friend Ben’s favorite language book, Richard Lederer’s Anguished English. (“Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.” “[Benjamin Franklin] invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, ‘A horse divided against itself cannot stand.’”) Shame on the reporter who wrote that headline, and the publisher who let it see the light of print!

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they write.