Batting 2000. October 9, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac blog
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It’s hard to believe, but today’s is the 2,000th post for our friend Ben, Silence Dogood, and Richard Saunders here at Poor Richard’s Almanac. On behalf of all of us, and of our hero and blog mentor, the great Benjamin Franklin, our sincere thanks for your support and encouragement from Day 1 to today. We look forward to sharing many more thoughts, discoveries, observations and recipes with you in the days, weeks and years to come!
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
Wretched Daylight Savings. September 25, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, daylight saving time
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It’s almost 7 a.m. in our part of scenic PA, and it’s still pitch-black outside. Thank you, Daylight Savings. How is anybody supposed to get up and function in the dark (unless they’re an Orc or vampire)?! This is not good for our biorhythms and health, to say the least. Night: sleep. Light: wake up. How hard is that to understand evolutionally?
Our friend Ben is forced to admit that it was our own hero and blog mentor here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, the great Benjamin Franklin, who first came up with the concept of Daylight Saving Time. But he did it as a joke, people, a joke! And now, unfortunately, the joke is on us, as our ever-more-intrusive government has made it our reality.
I’m sure old Ben would be mortified, or at least enjoying a chuckle at our expense and thinking of a witty remark to put in his Philadelphia newspaper or next almanac about people’s gullibility and government stupidity.
I’ve read many times about how harmful working second- or third-shift jobs is to people’s mental health and health in general, because they disrupt the body’s natural rhythms. And now the government is mandating the disruption of every single citizen’s natural rhythms by extending Daylight Saving Time way past the boundary between dark and light. What were they thinking?! And how dare they intrude on private life in this way?
Happy Constitution Day! September 17, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Constitution Day, George Washington, Gouverneur Morris, James Madison, U.S. Constitution
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It’s me, Richard Saunders of Poor Richard’s Almanac fame, here today to wish you all a happy Constitution Day! In honor of the occasion, I’ve whipped up a little quiz so you can test your knowledge of the Constitution. Try it and see how you fare! As always, I’ll reveal the answers at the end of the quiz. But no cheating, now!
1. The U.S. Constitution was signed on this day, September 17, in:
2. Who was President when the Constitution was signed?
a) James Madison
b) Thomas Jefferson
c) George Washington
d) Benjamin Franklin
3. Who is called The Father of the Constitution?
a) Thomas Jefferson
b) George Washington
c) James Madison
d) Gouverneur Morris
4. The Constitution was based on:
a) The Magna Carta
b) The Articles of Confederation
c) The Virginia Plan
d) The New Jersey Plan
5. Where is the Constitution housed?
a) The White House
b) The Library of Congress
c) The National Archives
d) The Smithsonian Museum
6. How many states were there when the Constitution was signed?
7. What document did the Constitution replace?
a) The Declaration of Independence
b) The Bill of Rights
c) The Articles of Confederation
d) The Colonial Charter
8. How does the Constitution begin?
a) “It is hereby declared…”
b) “We, the duly elected representatives of the various States of the Union…”
c) “It is a truth universally acknowledged…”
d) “We the People…”
9) Which state refused to send representatives to the Constitutional Convention?
a) New York
b) Rhode Island
10) Who gave the closing speech after the Constitution was signed?
a) George Washington
b) Benjamin Franklin
c) James Madison
d) Thomas Jefferson
Now it’s time for some answers. Ready? Here you go:
1. The answer is b), 1787. The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776, the Bill of Rights was added to the Constitution in 1791, and the Louisiana Purchase Treaty was signed in 1803.
2. This is a trick question; the answer is “none of the above.” There was no office of the President when the Constitution was signed in 1787; the Constitution itself established the office. Our first President, George Washington, wasn’t elected until 1789.
3. The answer is c), James Madison, whose passionate support of the Constitution and Bill of Rights helped bring them into being. The Constitution is also partially based on the Virginia Plan that Madison drafted, and he coauthored The Federalist Papers to win public support for the Constitution. But the title could have also been bestowed on Gouverneur Morris, the most undervalued of the Founders, who actually wrote the Constitution. Thomas Jefferson is The Father of the Declaration of Independence and George Washington is, of course, The Father of Our Country.
4. Another trick question; the correct answer is “all of the above,” with quite a few other ingredients tossed into the stew for good measure.
5. The answer is c), the National Archives in Washington, D.C., which also houses the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Articles of Confederation, the Treaty of Paris, an early copy of the Magna Carta, and many other important documents. It’s well worth a visit next time you’re in D.C.
6. The answer is a). There were still just the original former Thirteen Colonies (now states) in 1787 when the Constitution was signed. The next state admitted to the Union was Vermont, in 1791.
7. The answer is c), the Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union, drafted in 1777 and ratified in 1781. The Articles of Confederation gave more power to the individual states at the expense of a strong central government. It lacked provisions for an executive or judiciary branch, a bicameral legislature (i.e., separate Senate and House of Representatives), or means of raising Federal taxes. The Constitution rectified these omissions, creating the strong central government we have today and paving the way for the Federal Income Tax. Thanks, guys!
8. The answer is d), “We the People.” If it were written today, it would probably be more along the lines of “In accordance with Provision 746-B of the…” Sigh.
9. The answer is b), Rhode Island. Like many States’ Rights advocates, Rhode Islanders opposed a strong central government, fearing that it would be dominated by larger, more powerful states and by urban rather than rural interests. This same states-versus-feds conflict fueled the Civil War, and you can still see it in action in today’s Libertarian Party and “tea parties.” The most famous patriot who championed States’ Rights was Virginia’s Patrick Henry, who refused to attend the Constitutional Convention, saying he “smelt a rat in Philadelphia [where the Convention was held], tending toward the monarchy.”
10. The answer is b), our very own hero and blog mentor here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, the great Benjamin Franklin. We find this entirely fitting, since there wouldn’t have been a Constitution—or an America, for that matter—if it hadn’t been for old Ben’s diplomatic skills in persuading King Louis XVI to act against his own interests (as subsequent events conclusively proved) and support the Revolutionaries against a fellow monarch. Ben Franklin was also the only Founder to sign all three of America’s seminal documents: the Declaration of Independence, the Treaty of Paris (which established peace between Britain and America after the war), and the Constitution. Go Ben go!!!
Do you feel smarter now? For more Constitutional fun, head over to the National Constitution Center’s website (http://constitutioncenter.org/FoundersQuiz/) and take their “Which Founder Are You?” quiz! I’m James Madison. No big surprise, our friend Ben is Ben Franklin. And can you guess who Silence Dogood is? Turns out, she’s James Madison too, even though when we compared notes she answered a lot of the 11 questions differently than I did. (Silence was a bit—well, a lot—disgruntled by this. She says she wanted to be Alexander Hamilton or George Washington or Gouverneur Morris. Sorry, Silence.) Let us know who you are!
A nice way to wake up. August 4, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Ben Franklin maxims, crystals, morning people, night owls
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Silence Dogood here. If, like me, our hero and blog mentor Benjamin Franklin’s maxim “Early to bed, early to rise” doesn’t exactly resonate with you, every little thing you can do to make getting out of bed in the morning a more pleasant experience is a good thing.
One of the most pleasant ways I’ve found is to hang crytals in the window. I don’t mean crystals like quartz, but rather, faceted glass like the crystals on a chandelier. You can use real chandelier crystals from antiques stores or flea markets, or, as I did, buy modern versions in gift shops or New Age shops. The advantage of buying them in gift or New Age shops is that they come in colors, they’re highly faceted (which is critical, as you’ll see), and they’re often pre-strung for hanging with smaller crystals on the string.
I have three crystal strands, one amber, one purple, and one pinkish-rainbow-colored, hung one on the other in an East-facing window. And when the morning light hits them, they cast dozens of beautiful rainbow droplets of light on the walls and ceilings of the room. This continues for several hours, and I can make the droplets spin and dance over the room if I gently push the lowest crystal once to set the strands moving. All three crystals are highly faceted, since the more facets, the more rainbows each crystal throws off.
This is a beautiful, entertaining, inexpensive light show. Since my goal is to motivate myself to get up and moving, my crystals are in a window in my home office rather than the bedroom. I need to get on the computer and start writing, after all, not have yet another excuse to dawdle in bed enjoying colorful patterns on the walls and ceiling. But think how magical it would be for a child to wake each (sunny) morning to rainbow splashes on his or her bedroom walls and ceiling! If your child’s bedroom has East-facing windows, I’d highly recommend it.
Meanwhile, back to working on the “healthy, wealthy and wise” part of old Ben’s maxim…
‘Til next time,
The art of the blog. June 6, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Alexander Hamilton, Ben Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, infamous scribblers, James Callender, Jules Witcover, news, reporting, Thomas Jefferson, William F. Buckley
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Our friend Ben read an op-ed piece yesterday by Jules Witcover in our local paper, the Allentown, PA Morning Call, titled “Journalism’s golden age is far behind us.” (Check it out in its entirety at http://www.themorningcall.com.)
Mr. Witcover’s point is that, nowadays, anybody can set themselves up as an instant expert, whether they know what they’re talking about or not, and air their views online, in print, or on the air. He also points out that in the past, reporters were supposed to at least try to be impartial and unbiased, to the extent that it’s possible for anyone to set aside his or her own beliefs. But now they blatantly shill for their own political parties and stands, and some of them are even professional campaign managers.
Admittedly, long before Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, there was William F. Buckley. But unlike today’s hate-mongers, Buckley didn’t pursue an agenda of hate. He was brilliant and well-educated, and he knew whereof he spoke. He didn’t claim to be always right; rather, he simply offered to pit his mind and morals against those who held different views, and let the audience decide. My passionately Democratic mother adored the conservative Mr. Buckley and enjoyed watching his iconic show.
But I digress. As a blogger, what captured my attention was Mr. Witcover’s description of blogging: “With the advent of the Internet, the art of the blog has flourished. A blogger has an unlicensed license to offer all manner of views, speculations, rumors or just plain fantasies to a receptive audience, with or without forethought.”
This is, of course, true. But it has always been true in America, where free speech is a right, even if “free” isn’t “true.” Back in the day, George Washington was so incensed by the libelous, scandalous reporting of such newspaper journalists as James Callender that he referred to them as “infamous scribblers.” Many were no better than today’s paparazzi, chasing down scandals to titillate their readers: Alexander Hamilton’s adulterous affair, Thomas Jefferson’s long-standing relationship with his slave Sally Hemings.
Even Ben Franklin, our hero and blog mentor here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, didn’t bat an eye at making up humorous or salacious “news” to spice up his paper. Mind you, Ben didn’t libel real people; his were all fictitious, and often served up a lesson in common sense along with their misdeeds.
Which brings me back to Mr. Witcover and his despair over the state of today’s “reporting,” be it in blogs, on Twitter, or in so-called news panels populated by political hacks. Ultimately, as was the case back in President Washington’s day, it is up to us to be informed readers, viewers, and listeners. It is up to us to filter out what is true from what is biased reporting, reporting that favors an agenda over the truth. It is up to us to understand when a report presents a partial truth, because the whole truth isn’t known or a study is premature or flawed. We are ultimately responsible for what we believe, and why.
We’re also responsible for what we read, see, and hear, and why. If we’re addicted to Stephen Colbert or The Pioneer Woman or Dr. Phil, that doesn’t mean we’re watching them to learn more about life. There’s a difference between entertainment and information. Let’s bear it in mind.
Words of wisdom. May 9, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: aphorisms, Ben Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, Charles H. Spurgeon, wit and wisdom
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Apparently, our hero and blog mentor, the great Benjamin Franklin, had a 19th-century imitator. But this man, a British Baptist minister, didn’t simply crib Ben’s sayings, as our friend Ben discovered this morning while reading a piece from The Week called “15 less-than-inspirational quotes from a book of moral advice” (read them all on TheWeek.com).
I was intrigued by the title of the article and assumed it would be poking fun at some outdated moralist’s misguided ideas. Instead, the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon had a wealth of commonsense wisdom of his own to impart, in Dr. Franklin’s famous homespun style. Here are my favorites:
“Eggs are aggs, but some are rotten; and so hopes are hopes, but many of them are delusions.”
“Expect to get half of what you earn, a quarter of what is your due, and none of what you have lent, and you will be near the mark.”
“Make as few changes as you can; trees often transplanted bear little fruit.”
“It is far better to work with an old-fashioned spade that suits your hand than with a new-fangled invention that you don’t understand.” [Yeah! Go, Luddites, go!!!]
“It is true you must bake with the flour you have, but if the sack is empty it might be just as well not to set up for a baker.”
“Every minnow wants to be a whale, but it is prudent to be a little fish while you have but little water.”
Wow. I think Ben Franklin would agree.
Ben got that right. April 15, 2013Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Ben Franklin quotes, Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin quotes, death and taxes
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“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”
From the No Good Deed Goes Unpunished dept. June 18, 2012Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, pets, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, breaking up catfights, breaking up dogfights, bubonic plague, feral cats, pet safety, plague, plague in America
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Our friend Ben saw a headline on yesterday’s Yahoo! home page that could have come straight out of The Onion, but unfortunately was true. Clicking through, I saw that sure enough, a man in Oregon just landed in the hospital with the plague. (Your eyes aren’t deceiving you: the plague. As in bubonic plague, the black death, the Middle Ages.)
This was bad enough, but I’ve read over the past decade about how plague turns up every once in a while in the Southwest, apparently carried by mice rather than the rats that carried it through Europe. So, though it came as a surprise to find that it’s now spread to Oregon, it wasn’t as startling as first learning that plague was back, and was in the U.S. (Our friend Ben would be remiss not to mention that armadillos are also apparently acting as carriers of leprosy, which doesn’t affect them. They typically transmit it to people who eat them, just FYI for fans of wildcrafting and foraged food. But I digress.)
What was really bad was why the man came down with the plague. Turns out, he and his family had befriended a stray cat, which they fed and named Charlie. Charlie enjoyed hanging out at their house. So far, so good. Good, at least, until the man observed Charlie doing what cats do second-best (first-best is, of course, sleeping): hunting.
Charlie had caught a mouse. The distraught man rushed out to try to save the mouse, and ended up—shock surprise—being bitten for his efforts. (The doctors seemed unsure if the terrified mouse or the outraged Charlie had bitten him; my guess is both.) And because of the bite(s), he contracted the plague, is now fighting for his life, and poor Charlie was summarily dispatched and shipped off to a lab for analysis. (The mouse’s fate was not disclosed.)
All this reminded our friend Ben of the many winter nights when our then-senior cat, Jessie, would catch a mouse in our house and alert Silence Dogood with a “broken cat” cry that she made at no other time. The groggy Silence (this always happened in the dead of night) would lurch into the living room, turn on a light, grab the fireproof (and also mouse-proof) gloves from the woodstove, unlock the front door, and wait. Jessie would obediently trot over and drop the (unharmed) mouse on the doormat, and Silence would scoop it up in a gloved hand and toss it back into the yard. We have no idea why Jessie did this, though of course Silence always praised her lavishly after each catch (and swore that the same mice would come back in repeatedly to play their part in the game). Those of our other cats who’ve been hunters—by no means all of them, some just watch, and others pointedly ignore intruders—have killed and eaten their prey. (Or, at least, eaten some of it, but let’s not go into that.) Fortunately, we live in Pennsylvania, and I’ve yet to hear of a plague attack here.
Dragging myself once again back to the point, our friend Ben would like to remind everyone of the perils of trying to do the right thing in the wrong way. Our friend Ben has read too many horror stories of people being badly mauled trying to break up a dog fight or even cat fight. Of course no one wants to see their beloved pet being ripped up by another animal. But rather than rushing into the fray, use a readily available and entirely effective weapon: water. Throw a bucket of water on fighting cats. Turn a hose at full blast on fighting dogs. It will definitely distract the assailants, and give you time to get your pet out of harm’s way before hostilities can resume.
But as our hero and blog mentor, the great Benjamin Franklin, would doubtless say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. What are you thinking, allowing an animal you care about to wander unsupervised and become a target for another dog’s or cat’s aggression?!
If your dog is outside, you should be, too, and your dog should never be roaming free. If you have a domestic cat, it should be indoors. And if, like Charlie’s family, you befriend a feral cat, for God’s sake, let it be what God intended rather than what you think it should be. If it’s outdoors, it’s going to hunt and eat birds, mice, bunnies, chipmunks, squirrels, or anything else it can catch, along with that nice bowl of food you set out for it. You have to decide if inviting its company and winning its friendship (which you will) is worth that price or not.
Finally, as of yesterday’s news article, Charlie’s “father” was in critical condition. Our friend Ben would like to invite all of you to send a prayer for his recovery. He may have been lacking in the judgement department, but his heart was in the right place. And no one who acts from the heart deserves to die for their actions. May this good deed go unpunished.
Fish, guests, and God knows what. June 9, 2012Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, critters, wit and wisdom.
Tags: Ben Franklin, Ben Franklin quotes, Benjamin Franklin, blog humor
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“Guests, like fish, start to stink after three days.”
Well, they’re not the only ones. Silence Dogood and our friend Ben were rudely awakened last week by a rifle shot in a neighboring farmer’s field. We knew the farmer had hit whatever it was because there was only one shot. What we didn’t know was that the unfortunate, mortally wounded creature was going to drag itself across the road, across our yard, and under our deck before succumbing to its wounds.
Sure enough, three days later, we were confronted by an appalling smell emanating from under the deck. A stench of death and decay that continues—now accompanied by a swarm of flies—to this day. And of course, ours is a ground-level deck with barely a foot of clearance, so there’s absolutely no way to get under it and extract the hapless corpse.
This would be horrible enough under any circumstances. But for our friend Ben and Silence, it’s tragic, and not just because of the death of the poor creature. Our deck is full of life and color: fruiting, flowering and foliage plants, colorful container combinations, a half-barrel water garden. We have literally hundreds of plants out there in the season, creating a little piece of paradise for us. We love to sit out on our deck in the morning, have cocktails or wine on the deck in the afternoon, and watch the sun set on the deck in the evening, with our beloved black German shepherd, Shiloh, in supremely contented attendance.
Our view from the deck extends past all the deck plants, across our stream, Hawk Run, through the backyard with its firepit and huge shade trees, to our greenhouse and sunny gardens, on through the farm fields behind our property, and ultimately to the mountains that ring our happy valley. “Utopian” is not too strong a word. We love to turn on our strings of chile lights in the evening, light a fire in the firepit, and enjoy each other’s and Shiloh’s company in slowdown mode as the light gradually fades.
No more. The stench and flies make sitting on the deck a non-option. We feel like prisoners in our own home, deprived of the most pleasant and looked-forward-to part of our day, the time when we can just watch the light glittering through the leaves and the goldfinches at our feeder, listen to the gurgle of our peaceful little stream, enjoy downtime with Shiloh, and not have to even think, much less worry, about anything.
Our hero and blog mentor, the great Benjamin Franklin, famously noted when the stink would start. Too bad he didn’t mention when it would stop.