When Luddites play tag. June 22, 2008Posted by ourfriendben in gardening, Uncategorized, wit and wisdom.
Tags: blog tag, Gardenopolis, our friend Ben
Zora at the delightful blog Gardenopolis (one of our faves; see the link on our blogroll at right) tagged Poor Richard’s Almanac yesterday, asking us to write six random things about ourselves and post them on our blog. Since our blog is a joint effort by three of us—our friend Ben, Silence Dogood, and Richard Saunders—this threw us into instant chaos.
Today being Sunday, Richard had come over to Hawk’s Haven, our rural retreat in the scenic middle of nowhere, PA, to have brunch and talk about the week’s upcoming posts. Picture our friend Ben and Richard seated on the deck, surrounded by plants and kittens, listening to the babble of the little creek, Hawk Run, just off the deck. Silence has gone into the kitchen for a coffee refill. Here’s how the scene played out:
Richard Saunders: We need to write a post to respond to Zora’s tag and tell people six random things about ourselves.
Our friend Ben: Uh… right.
Silence returns to the deck with a fresh cup of coffee. Richard and our friend Ben turn towards her with one accord.
Silence: Why are you two staring at me?
OfB: Um, about the tag post…
Silence: What about it?
OfB, RS: We think you should write it.
Silence, glaring at them, then smiling sweetly: Ah. Well, I’m sure I could think of six fascinating things to say about each of you…
OfB: Oh, come on, Silence! How hard can it be to come up with six things people might want to know about you?
Silence: Well, you could find out how hard it is by writing the post yourself. Seems like it’s high time one of you two took a turn, unless you want to rename the blog “Poor Silence’s Almanac.”
RS, OfB: Uh…
Silence: Look, why don’t we draw straws. Whoever pulls the short straw has to write six things about themselves.
RS, OfB: You’re kidding, right? You mean people actually draw straws?
Silence (slaps forehead, rolls eyes): Look. I’ll go get three grass stems and cut one in half. You can each draw one, and we’ll see who’s the lucky winner. (She returns with the “straws.”) Gentlemen, take your chances!
Silence: Hah, you’re elected! You pick six or I’ll do it for you! And, please, don’t make one of them that you want to win a MacArthur award. Surely everyone who’s old enough to read has gotten the hint by now.
OfB, glowering: Thank God you’re not one of the nominators.
Silence (smugly): How do you know?
OfB groans, closes eyes. Saints preserve us…
RS, looking desperately at his watch: Er, Silence, Ben, perhaps we could get on with this so we could have a little brunch before suppertime?
OfB: Okay, okay. (Thinking.) How about these?
1. Despite my huge and much-loved book collection, if I were trapped on a deserted island, I’d rather have a huge stack of blank notebooks and pens than any of them. And if I couldn’t have notebooks and pens, I’d take a stick and write my novels, poems, and essays in the sand, even if I had to start again each day.
2. I’ve never understood the compulsive need for novelty that seems to afflict so many of my friends and acquaintances. I can eat the same food, wear the same clothes, read the same books, see the same movies, listen to the same music, appreciate the same view, enjoy the same people and pets endlessly without craving something new. Where I love I love, be it food or art or companionship. Of course I enjoy new things, too, and adding new favorites to the classic repertoire. But I also remain faithful to the old. The shampoo I used in college is still in my shower; I still watch my favorite movies and read my favorite books every year, and listen to beloved CDs pretty much daily; I could eat pasta or pizza or a baked potato or good bread and cheese or rice every day with a salad and side and be perfectly happy. I never tire of the view from our back deck, or wish I could trade my friends, family, and nearest and dearest for newer models. (Shut up, Silence.) Life is rich, good, and rewarding just as it is, and therein lies the secret of happiness, say I.
RS: Uh, Ben, I think these are supposed to be short “random things,” not paragraphs. Some of Zora’s were, like, three words.
Silence (smirking): No one ever accused Ben of being at a loss for words.
OfB: Grrrrrr. Maybe one of you would like to take over?
Silence: Good idea. Maybe we each should take two. Richard, you’re up!
RS: Okay, short and sweet. Let’s see:
3. If I won the lottery, I’d buy a horse farm in Lexington, a house on the Battery in Charleston, and a summer retreat in Nova Scotia, or maybe in the Smokies.
4. If I could come back as anyone, I think I’d like to be Daniel Boone. What a life!
RS, OfB: Your turn, Silence!
Silence: Oh, all right. How’s this for short?
5. My favorite dessert is fresh blueberry tart in a shortbread crust with tons of whipped cream.
6. If I won the lottery, I’d buy a big farm and raise endangered livestock breeds.
OfB: Okay, that’s short. I know you bought blueberries at the farmers’ market on Friday. I don’t suppose there’s any hope that a fresh blueberry tart is in the offing?
RS: Yum!!! What Ben said.
Silence: (Heavy sigh.) I suppose the spinach-mushroom crepes and strawberry-citrus salad I was planning just don’t measure up, eh? Maybe I’d better just send you two off for some Egg McMuffins…
RS, OfB, fervently: No, no!!! Crepes and strawberry salad sound wonderful!
Silence: Well, maybe while I’m making them you could finish writing this post. I’ll even throw some blueberries in the salad just for you.
OfB: Oops, that’s right. We’re supposed to list the tagging rules and then choose six other bloggers to tag. (Looks at Richard.) I have some ideas…
RS: Go for it!
OfB: First, here are the rules:
* Link to the person who tagged you.
* Post the rules on your blog.
* Write six random things about yourself.
* Tag six people at the end of your post, linking to their blog.
* Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
* Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
And now (heh, heh, heh) for the taggees:
Silence (reappearing on the deck): Wait, I have some nominees, too!
RS, OfB: I’ll bet you do!
Silence, OfB: And the nominees are…
1. Meg and Kelly at Future House Farm (http://futurehousefarm.blogspot.com/), ’cause we know you have lots of interesting things to say about yourselves.
2. Sean at Bamboo Geek (http://bamboogeek.blogspot.com/), ’cause between Bamboo Geek and your new blog, Trash Watch, we’re sure you’ll have plenty to share with the rest of us.
3. Michael at Tomato Casual (http://www.tomatocasual.com/), ’cause we know if you post a response on Tomato Casual, all six “random things” will have to be tomato-related, and we think that’s a wonderful challenge.
4. Barbee’ at Barbee’s Blog (http://barbeeslog.blogspot.com/), ’cause we’d like to know more about a passionate gardener from one of our favorite states, Kentucky.
5. Deb at Aunt Debbi’s Garden (http://auntdebbisgarden.blogspot.com/), ’cause we know you’ve been tagged zillions of times but want to challenge you to come up with six more things. C’mon, you can do it!!!
6. Joy at Garden Joy 4 Me (http://gardenjoy4.blogspot.com/), for the same reason as Aunt Debbi. If you’ve run out of things to say about yourself, you could always tell us six random things about Emma!
Okay, hopefully we’ve fulfilled our tagging obligations, or at least, done our Luddite best. (What’s a Luddite, you ask? No, it’s not some obscure cult. See our post, “What is a Luddite, anyway?” to find out all about it.) Now it’s up to the rest of you guys to carry the torch forward…