James Bond or Jack Sparrow? November 28, 2008Posted by ourfriendben in wit and wisdom.
Tags: 007, Jack Sparrow, James Bond
Our friend Ben and Silence Dogood have been experiencing a bit of culture shock while staying with family in Nashville this Thanksgiving weekend, and it has nothing to do with being back in the South. Instead, we’ve suddenly gone from having one tiny television in our entire house—a television that receives exactly no channels—to having an enormous television in the guest room where we’re staying that receives gadzillion channels.
Stumbling on a movie channel, we were lucky enough to catch a “Best of Bond” retrospective, with clips of the villains, stunts, Bond girls, gizmos, and other features that make a Bond movie what it is. Silence’s favorite part was when a fashion expert discussed the worst Bond outfits (“That yellow ski suit made Roger Moore look like a banana!”), especially the ludicrous sky-blue terrycloth beachwear that Sean Connery was wearing in “Goldfinger.” Later on we watched a bit of “Goldeneye,” one of our favorite latter-day Bond movies, followed by a little of the Davey Jones installment of “Pirates of the Caribbean.”
This, of course, started us thinking. We love Johnny Depp, and of course love his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series. (Alert readers will recall that we love all things piratical from our now-infamous “Pirate Week” posts.) We also love many of the James Bond movies and find them highly entertaining. (Our favorite Bond is Roger Moore, at least in his early Bond outings, because he approached the role with a sense of humor and irony sadly lacking in Sean Connery’s and, most recently, Daniel Craig’s Bonds. We also liked George Lazenby as Bond and were sorry he only made one movie. But we think the best Bond of all would have been Sean Bean, one of our favorite actors, who played the villain in “Goldeneye” and blew us away with his out-Bonding of Pierce Brosnan. But we digress.)
However, if we had to choose, not between the various Bonds, but between James Bond and Jack Sparrow, who would be our favorite? We discussed this for all of one second before (for once in our lives) reaching complete agreement. Can you guess? (Drumroll) Jack Sparrow, of course! He scored top points from us on fashion sense, attitude (we prefer his laid-back approach to life and enthusiastic sense of self-preservation to Bond’s rigid, holier-than-thou demeanor), even one-liners (by a hair; Bond also gets high marks there). And Silence finds bad boy Jack far sexier than bad boy James (this could be an age thing; despite attempts to modernize him, we’ve always found Bond a bit dated). She says she’d have a much harder time choosing between Jack Sparrow and Sean Bean than Jack and Sean Connery, though she did think Sean Connery got much sexier as he got older, post-Bond (and stopped wearing terrycloth beachwear).
But that’s just us. Who gets your vote, the pirate or the elite agent? Are you a never-say-die 007 fan, or a savvy admirer of Cap’n Jack? Operators are standing by to take your call!