This week’s wacky blog searches. March 24, 2010Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, gardening, wit and wisdom.
Tags: blog humor, wacky blog searches, weird blog queries
Once again, Poor Richard’s Almanac has been inundated with, shall we say, unusual blog searches. Here are some of the latest to pass over the virtual transom, with, of course, our comments. (Searches in bold, comments following.)
does Ben Franklin want appreciation from: Old Ben got plenty of appreciation during his long and celebrated life; he became the most famous man of his age. Our friend Ben feels sure that Dr. Franklin would appreciate some belated recognition from the British Parliament and Royal Family, and of course he’s probably still lobbying up in Heaven for the turkey to replace the bald eagle as our national symbol, but otherwise, I think he’s quite happy with his status as best-loved Founding Father.
why does ginger give you a rash: Well, it doesn’t give any of us a rash, and we’ve never heard of it giving anybody a rash, but readers, if you have answers, we’d love to hear them.
pumpkin seed almanac: Um, that’s a bit too specialized for us. We’re enthusiastic fans of pumpkin seeds (aka pepitas) for many reasons: They taste great, a heaping tablespoonful makes a satisfying snack, they add crunch to salads, and they’re reputed to whittle one’s waistline and help combat metabolic syndrome, that fearful precursor of Type 2 diabetes. Silence Dogood and OFB try to include them as mid-morning snacks and salad toppings every day. Our dog Shiloh and parrot Plutarch love them even more than we do. But an entire pumpkin-seed almanac? We think not. However, it would make a great title for a novel: The Pumpkin Seed Almanac. Hmmm…
test iq einstein gardens: Uh, say what?! Einstein and IQ, okay. Einstein and gardens, not so much. At least, as far as we know. If anybody knows that Einstein was a gardener, we definitely want to hear about it! (Hey, if Vito Corleone could lurch around in his tomato garden, surely Einstein might have grown world champion-size cabbages, beets, and onions down in Princeton.)
silence is not always quotes yellow: Silence was not at all amused by this search phrase (“Is someone implying that my opinions and outlook are jaundiced?!!”) until she realized that it must refer to that old axiom, “Silence is golden.” We presume that the searcher is a believer in speaking out, a course we advise against even while doing it far too often for our own good.
raccoon gardening: Hmmm, an innovative approach. In general, none of us here at PRA welcomes the arrival of raccoons, which eat the fish and plants in our water gardens and generally make nuisances of themselves. But if they offered to garden, we’d be happy to have them, as long as they agreed to keep their paws off our fish.
what is the best gazing ball to keep haw: Er. Don’t you just hate it when the query gets cut off at the critical point? Let’s assume that this particular search was for “what is the best gazing ball to keep away the Evil Eye,” which was, believe it or not, the original purpose of gazing balls. The answer is a silver gazing ball. Just in case you were wondering.
almanac kill onions: Please refrain from blaming your gardening failures on us.
garlic clove mortal and pestel: Like all flesh, garlic cloves are indeed mortal, an appropriate reflection for the Easter season. But should you wish to consume your garlic rather than lamenting its mortality, we suggest that you look into a mortar and pestle instead.