Stinkbugs: The invasion has started. September 21, 2010Posted by ourfriendben in critters, homesteading, wit and wisdom.
Tags: bad year for stinkbugs, stink bugs, stinkbug invasion, stinkbugs
Silence Dogood here. Alert readers may recall an earlier post, “The stinkbugs are coming!”, in which I quoted entomologists who predicted “an epic year for stinkbugs.” Well, they’re here.
I can’t look up without seeing the ominous shield-shaped silhouette on a window, screen or door. Every time I open a door, one of the evil creatures blasts inside the house, however fast I close it. (In my opinion, stinkbugs don’t fly; they simply blast off from wherever they’re lurking with a roar like a gunning motorcycle, and shoot forward to their next location, which all too often is the front of your shirt.)
This forces me to seize the intruder stinkbug and hurl it back out the door. (I can’t say what the stinkbugs make of this experience, but having to touch a live stinkbug ranks right up there with picking up after the dog or cleaning up hairballs as far as I’m concerned.) One especially audacious stinkbug buzzed right back into the house after its first expulsion, again before I could shut the door, and I had to touch it twice. Eeeewwww!!!!
Yesterday had to be the worst ever, stinkbug-wise. I needed to run errands in town, so I opened the front door, kicking stinkbugs away from the sill as I went out. (Fortunately, none made it inside that time.) I opened the car door; there was a stinkbug inside the door. I stopped for gas; there was a stinkbug on the gas pump. After pumping the gas, I decided to clean the windshields: There were two stinkbugs on the front windshield and one on the rear. And on it went. Worst of all, a stinkbug landed on me while I was reading in bed and the hapless OFB had just fallen asleep. My bloodcurdling scream probably deprived him of at least three of his nine lives (though after recovering his wits, even Ben had to acknowledge that I couldn’t help it).
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I hate stinkbugs!!! Go away, you evil things. Find something better to do with yourselves, like plunging en masse into the ocean. At least take up a useful hobby like eating poison ivy or kudzu. It’s starting to look like a very bad fall…
‘Til next time,