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Grasping at straws. February 28, 2011

Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, Uncategorized, wit and wisdom.
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“Ben, I can’t think of anything for today’s blog post.” Silence Dogood was looking demoralized, even panicked. “Can you?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve run out of recipes,” our friend Ben hedged.

“No, of course not,” Silence snapped. “But maybe readers would like to read about something besides recipes once in a while.”

“Well, what about the snow geese that have turned up in the farm field behind our property, Hawk’s Haven, this past week? Wouldn’t readers be as inspired by this harbinger of spring as we are?” 

“I’m not sure, Ben. But I AM sure they wouldn’t want to hear about the farmers behind us pointlessly slaughtering the snow geese, their guns waking us with dread and loathing every single day as we wonder how anyone could murder the most beautiful thing God ever made, for no reason whatever.”

“Silence, I’m still not letting you go to the fields and put yourself between the snow geese and those guns.”

“You really think they’d shoot me too, don’t you, Ben?”

“Let’s just say I don’t want to find out.”

“Well, alrighty then. What are we going to post about?”

“How about the Oscars?”

“Hmpf!” Silence spat out. “Stupid, pointless…”

“Okay, okay, I know we were both hoping that Hailee Steinfeld would win best supporting actress for her amazing lead-actress role in the remake of ‘True Grit’, and that Geoffrey Rush would win best supporting actor for his bravura performance in ‘The King’s Speech’. But—”

“Shut up, Ben! Can you believe what they did instead?!! What’s the matter with those pathetic, stupid [language suppressed]? What were they thinking?!!” 

“Er, uh, maybe we need to think about something else to put on the blog.”

“Maybe Richard Saunders has something to contribute?”

“Richard’s delving into a book about George Washington, The Making of the President 1789. And he’s checking out the new Washington exhibit in Philadelphia, which sounds pretty fascinating and horrifying. But I don’t think he’s ready to post just yet.”

“Well yeesh, Ben, what are we going to do?!”

“Okay, Silence, you definitely have a point. What do you think our hero and blog mentor, the great Benjamin Franklin, would do in our place?”

“Um, invent something astonishing?”

“Yeah, point taken. Any hope that we could invent something astonishing?”

“Like what?”

“Uh…”

“Right. Looks like we’re out of luck, Ben.”

“But hey! What about your auto-menu listing, making it simple for everyone to create wholesome, balanced meals?” 

“What about your auto-collector program, helping collecting addicts use their collections to secure at least some financial stability without sacrificing their entire collections?”

“Just a pipe dream, Silence.”

“Mine, too.”

“Aaaagghh, now what?”

“Not a clue. Folks, what do you think? What would you like to see us tackle in future posts? We’ll be very happy to take on any topics that interest you, since those same topics are bound to interest us. Just let us know!”

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