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The water wars. July 6, 2011

Posted by ourfriendben in pets, wit and wisdom.
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Things got a little overheated last night here at Hawk’s Haven, the cottage home our friend Ben and Silence Dogood share in the precise middle of nowehere, PA. And not in a good way. Here’s what happened:

Silence: Ben, why is there a fluorescent green water pistol in our kitchen? 

Our friend Ben: Uh, heh-heh, I thought maybe our black German shepherd, Shiloh, would enjoy the occasional cool-down squirt now that summer’s arrived and it’s so hot. It’s not easy wearing a black fur coat all summer, you know, especially without air conditioning.

Silence: Oh, really? And I suppose you were planning to only use it outside, and then towel Shiloh down before she flung water all over the house?

OFB: Uh… right, of course I was!

Silence: As opposed to blasting Shiloh and everything else in the house whenever the opportunity presented itself?

OFB (assuming injured expression): I would never do that!

Silence: Of course not. Because you were really planning to use this on me, weren’t you? Shiloh’s just an excuse.

OFB: Who, me?! YAAARRRR!!!! (Lunging at Silence with the water pistol.) Got you!

Silence: GRRRRRRR… You miserable reptile! Take that! (Tosses huge coffee mug of ice water on OFB.)

OFB (spluttering): Hey! That’s not fair!

Shiloh (wanting to get into the game): BARKBARKBARK…

Silence: Get him, Shiloh!!! And Ben, if you ever aim that pistol at me again, I’m confiscating it. Get it?

OFB (muttering): Women. Where were God’s thoughts when He should have been giving them a sense of humor?!

Silence: Men! Where were God’s thoughts when it came time to give them sense, period? Now clean up this mess! And since there’s already so much water on the floor, you probably should go on and wash it.

OFB: GRRRRR!!!

Shiloh (at deafening level): BARK!!!!!

                    —curtain—

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