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The inside scoop on chicken poop. August 12, 2011

Posted by ourfriendben in chickens, wit and wisdom.
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Silence Dogood here to talk about chicken poop. Here at Poor Richard’s Almanac, we know a lot about it: Our friend Ben and I keep a small flock of heritage chickens, which rule the roost—or rather the Pullet Palace—here at Hawk’s Haven, our cottage home in the precise middle of nowhere, PA. Real chicken poop makes fantastic garden fertilizer, but it’s so high-nitrogen it will burn the plants if applied fresh. Because we keep our chicken yard well supplied with straw, however, the poop composts beautifully in place to form a wonderful organic fertilizer for our gardens.

However, today’s post isn’t really about the joys of chicken poop, which we value almost as highly as our hens’ delicious eggs. It’s about Chicken Poop or, more precisely, Simone Chickenbone’s Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Junk. On a recent visit to our local Tractor Supply in search of—what else?—scratch grains and egglayer pellets for the hens, I noticed these little boxes marked Free Range Chicken Poop set out at the checkout counter. I had to find out more! (I noticed that OFB immediately began acting like he didn’t know me, much like the time I discovered Anti-Monkey Butt Powder at the same store.)

The package featured a photo of a chicken and the following quote:

“Grandpa says: ‘If ya got dry lips, put chicken poop on ’em so you won’t lick ’em!'”

Then it reassured potential buyers that the product was in fact an all-natural cosmetic moisturizer that contained no poop. After reading the ingredients list (avocado oil, beeswax, jojoba oil, lavender essential oil, sweet orange essential oil, and vitamin E) and noting the extremely reasonable price ($2.49), I knew I had to try it. If it was so hard it was painful to apply, like other so-called lip moisturizers I’ve tried in the past, I could always toss it. Or just carry it in my purse and whip it out in public to terrorize OFB.

By the time we returned to the car, my lips were feeling a bit dry, so I decided it was time to put the Chicken Poop to the test. And folks, I have to say, this was the best, most luxurious lip gloss/moisturizer I’ve ever used, and over the years, I’ve tried more than I care to admit, from high-end to drugstore brands. It smelled great, it felt great, and it stayed on. (This is my big gripe with some otherwise perfectly adequate lip moisturizers: They go on fine, then they disappear after what seems like ten minutes. And, poop or no poop, I do not lick my lips, so there’s no accounting for it.) Wow. I’m in love!

I had to find out more. So this morning, I had a little chat with my good friend Google and unearthed the Simone Chickenbone website (http://www.ilovechickenpoop.com/). I discovered that Chicken Poop is the brainchild of beautician and lifelong entrepreneur Jamie Tabor, who has rural roots and put them to a most unlikely use when creating her all-natural, environmentally friendly lip-care products. (There’s also Chicken Poop Outdoors, which swaps off the jojoba and lavender oils for zinc oxide, and La Chick Poo Poo Lip Glace, lip shimmers, in Arora [sic] Pink, Claudia Mauve-ia, and Simone a go-go. I’ll admit I’m super-tempted by the Poo Poo Combo featuring all three lip shimmers.) 

If there’s no Tractor Supply near you, the website says that Walgreens also carries Chicken Poop products. There’s also a Retail Locations tab on the site, or you can order directly from the website, though if you do, you’ll be paying more than I did at Tractor Supply. 

As I informed OFB, I’m planning to stock up next time we visit Tractor Supply, not just for myself but as gag-gift stocking stuffers for all our friends this Christmas. But unlike most gag gifts, once the recipients work up the nerve to actually try the stuff, they’ll be as hooked as I am. Just in time for winter, too!

So find it and try it. You’ll like it! This is one kind of poo nobody’s going to pooh-pooh. Thanks, Jamie!!!

             ‘Til next time,

                        Silence

Comments»

1. Hollis Towell - March 23, 2013

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