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The curious case of Uncle Sam’s missing head. August 19, 2011

Posted by ourfriendben in wit and wisdom.
Tags: , , , ,

No, in case you’re wondering, this isn’t a political commentary. Longtime readers and fans of lawn art may recall previous posts in which our friend Ben chronicled the bizarre behavior of the folks who live at the end of our road. To recap:

* First, they literally chained a two-dimensional wooden depiction of Uncle Sam to the base of their flagpole. The sight of Uncle Sam weighed down with more chains than Marley’s Ghost struck our friend Ben as a trifle unpatriotic, to say the least.

* Then, someone came by and chopped off Uncle Sam’s head. (How could poor Uncle Sam defend himself, chained as he was?)

* Next, the homeowners left the decapitated Uncle Sam figure chained to the post.

* The next development was even more disturbing to our friend Ben. Driving past the house, Silence Dogood and I saw that a second Uncle Sam figure was leaning unobtrusively against a side wall of the house. We speculated that this was an impostor who had killed off the real Uncle Sam and was lurking there, surreptitiously planning to take his place for his own inscrutable but indubitably evil ends.

* This, however, never came to pass. Instead, the homeowners moved both the ersatz Uncle Sam and the decapitated Uncle Sam up onto their porch and secured them both (we shudder to think how) to the wall. Months, perhaps years later, they remain there, an ominous reminder of the unfathomable nature of our fellowmen.

Our friend Ben, who travels this route daily, never passes the house without wondering what the hell its owners are thinking. If the vandals stole poor Sam’s severed head, why not give the body a dignified burial, or at least, put it in the burn pile or out for the trash? If the vandals left the head, why not reattach it with a strip of wood nailed discreetly to the back? In either case, why keep the decapitated body on display like some patriotic version of the Headless Horseman?!

As appalling as it is to think that someone would invade someone else’s property and mutilate their lawn art, it’s even sicker—in our friend Ben’s opinion, at any rate—to leave the mutilated lawn art (now safely out of reach) on display. And our friend Ben still finds it disturbingly unpatriotic. If you’re going to put a patriotic symbol, be it the Stars and Stripes, a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, a replica of the Statue of Liberty, or Uncle Sam, on proud public display, surely you should treat them with the dignity that your admiration warrants.

Our friend Ben says: Uncle Sam has, clearly, already suffered enough.



1. pixilated2 - August 20, 2011

Bizarre does not begin to define this.

While I do have a very active imagination, I nevertheless would have enjoyed a photo to go with. However, giving credit where credit is due, your descriptions really were great without the picture. Love it!

Ha! Thanks, pixilated2! Alas, if I tried to take a photo, I’d doubtless end up cutting off poor Uncle Sam’s head too (in the photo, anyway) or at least obscuring it with my thumb. And being a Luddite, even if I managed to take a clear picture for once in my life, I have no clue how to attach it to a post (er, blog post, not flagpole). Not to mention that I don’t have a digital camera. Or that around here, you’re likely to get blasted with the ever-present hunting rifle if you’re observed taking a photo of someone else’s house! Sigh…

pixilated2 - August 20, 2011

Uh-OH! Guess it was best you didn’t try then! 🙂 !

Sad but true, Lynda!

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