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A Red Green moment. September 8, 2011

Posted by ourfriendben in wit and wisdom.
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Silence Dogood here. Our friend Ben and I very much enjoyed watching episodes of “The Red Green Show,” a long-running Canadian parody of a “manly man” handyman DIY show, where the less than handy Red Green basically fixed everything with duct tape. (Thanks, Netflix!) Unfortunately, today I encountered the vehicle of another apparent fan of the show who had failed to realize that it was a parody.

I simply couldn’t believe my eyes when I pulled into the parking lot of the local grocery and found myself face to face with a gigantic pickup truck—bigger than a Dodge Ram—with its massive front bumper, the obvious victim of a too-close encounter, dangling from the front of the truck and held on by, you guessed it, duct tape.

I can’t say which disturbed me more, the idea of some idiot taping his bumper back on his truck with duct tape, or the thought that a bumper the size of my entire car would actually remain attached with duct tape. This did not, shall we say, inspire me with much confidence in terms of bumpers’ abilities to protect us from harm should the need arise.

Sadly, I didn’t get a look at the truck’s owner, so I can’t tell you whether he had a head the size of a small marble or had been urged by a friend to compete for a Darwin Award. But to all you fans of duct tape out there, please: Don’t get any big ideas. I don’t want to be driving behind you when the bumper falls off.

            ‘Til next time,

                         Silence

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