Please try a little tolerance. September 13, 2012Posted by ourfriendben in wit and wisdom.
Tags: abortion, extremism, murder, politics, tolerance
Our friend Ben is going to defy the title of this post by being extremely intolerant, so those with extreme views, sign off now. I’m an equal-opportunity offender, so no matter what your views are, this post is likely to outrage you.
Let’s start off with Muslim extremists murdering Americans because some jackass in America (who’s now cravenly hiding) made a film that parodied the Prophet Mohammed. Excuse me, are you planning to murder our friend Ben now because I happened to blog about this? What the hell is wrong with you people! Some idiot makes an offensive film that none of us had even heard of, much less seen, and you start killing innocent people as a result? I hope the Prophet returns from the beyond and rips your hearts out and eats them.
But let’s move on and offend a few others, starting with my own faith, the Catholics. I understand that the archbishop who gave the opening prayer at the Democratic National Convention took the opportunity to blast abortion. (I frankly can’t believe that the Democrats invited a Catholic to their convention, but miracles do happen.)
This kind of thing drives our friend Ben wild. It’s not that abortion isn’t murder; of course it is. People who use abortion as birth control should be sentenced to live behind bars for life. But there’s an obvious alternative: legitimate methods of birth control.
Why bother with birth control? Because we humans are destroying our beautiful, God-given planet with our mindless multiplication. The Church should be supporting rather than opposing birth control, because God Creator gave us this wonderful world and the stupid Church should be its protector, not an agent in its destruction. And anyone who claims that they’re “pro-life” should, by God, be opposing the death penalty, opposing war, and be a vegetarian. Otherwise, shut up, you stupid hypocrites! God damn you.
Not that I don’t feel strongly about this, or about Muslim extremists or any other group taking innocent life in retaliation for one person’s offensive behavior. It’s the equivalent of McDonald’s taking out President Obama and his family because an American made the movie “Supersize Me,” which criticized the fast-foood industry. It’s the equivalent of Harrod’s taking out the BBC because actors parodied it in “Are You Being Served?” It’s the equivalent of annihilating Australia because it was unfortunate enough to spawn Julian Assange and WikiLeaks. It’s insane. Totally insane.
Please, everyone: One extremist doesn’t represent a nation. One monster shouldn’t be able to defile and define an entire group. Could we please try to exercise a little tolerance?