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Zucchini 500: Pirates triumphant! July 26, 2009

Posted by ourfriendben in Ben Franklin, gardening, wit and wisdom.
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Fans of all things piratical will be thrilled to know that Mark Wyant’s pirate vessel, The Black Zuke, won best of division in yesterday’s third annual Zucchini 500 races at the Easton Farmers’ Market in downtown Easton, PA. Tragically, our friend Ben, Silence Dogood, and Richard Saunders were unable to attend this deathless event and cheer our hero—clad as always in full piratical costume, including a great pirate hat and eyepatch bearing the skull and crossbones—on as The Black Zuke raced to victory. But we feel that this has done much to restore the bad name of pirates to its former state of disrepute, before real Somali pirates turned up and almost ruined everything for pirate fans like ourselves.

Fortunately, our local paper, the Allentown, PA Morning Call, carried full coverage of the Zucchini 500 so we could follow along, vicariously at least, as 50 competitors chose their zucchinis, carved and decorated them (attaching bat wings, veggie drivers, and even painting on flames), then attached wheels and axles and let them hit the “road.” The Black Zuke sported a full mast and pirate flag.

Our friend Ben was amused and delighted to read that the farmers’ market had hired a real NASCAR judge to supervise the races. There were children’s and adults’ divisions, and a five-year old-girl triumphed in her mid-sized zucchini division. But all was not sweetness and light: Apparently, the fastest-moving zukes tended to fly off the ends of their ramps and splat onto the pavement or even onto the feet of the unfortunate judge, requiring extensive repairs before they could compete in the next round. Our friend Ben doesn’t really want to imagine having to repair a battered zucchini, but no gains without pains, as our blog mentor and hero Ben Franklin was wont to remark. 

Should you wish to read the article and see the photos of the competitors for yourselves, and we hope you will, Google The Morning Call (Http://www.themorningcall.com/) and search for “Zucchini 500” or the actual article title, “The Fast and the Squashiest.” There’s a photo gallery with the story. Enjoy!